Beyond Divorce Recovery (and Empowerment)
- Get relief for your painful emotions
- Learn what went wrong so you don’t repeat it
- Rebuild your self-worth
- Understand how to use the power of transition for your good
Divorce is one of life’s most difficult experiences. You are probably experiencing a lot of different emotions all at one time.
Grief and anger are two of the strongest emotions. Grief is the normal reaction to loss. You are losing many things…not just your partner, but also a future you’d hoped for, believed in, trusted in. It’s not unusual to go into deep depression while the parts of your life shift and change.
Part one of 2 phase program: Recovery
Maybe you also feel embarrassed, ashamed, and just plain lost. It’s time to be gentle with yourself.
People get better participating in this program. Better in ways they never imagined. You can too.
This class saved me. I was so lost and so sad when this started. I didn’t think I would survive the pain. I am literally in such a better place. I will be forever grateful. Thank you! ~ Sindy W.
The Beyond Divorce Recovery and Empowerment program has been a lifesaver to hundreds. (At this link you will find the experiences of others who have participated in the program.)
- This class works in part because it is based on research and time tested methods. We have thirty years of research behind us now to understand what works in a relationship and conversely, what goes wrong when we things fall apart. For instance, did you know that 69% of relationship conflict is unresolvable? That explains some things doesn’t it?
- This program works in part because it is curriculum-based. We talk about each important phase of the emotional divorce process and how you can get through it. This structured approach gives your mind something to think about, chew on, grow from, and also prevents interactions from digressing to mere Ex-bashing.
- It works, in part, because it is a group. Groups are nearly miraculous, especially in today’s modern, disconnected social structure. When you share your experiences with others and they share with you, you know you’re not alone, and you learn a great deal from the way others handle their difficulties.
How to participate:
- If you are local to Boulder/Denver you can participate in the Recovery part of the program in a group setting. See below for a brief summary of the session topics. You will see that it is a robust schedule. Click “Enroll” at any time to take you to the registration page.
- If you’re not local to Boulder/Denver you can participate one-on-one with me via phone or Skype. We will customize your program to meet you right where you are and move you forward at the pace you need.
Call me any time. I’ve been there and done that and know how important it is to talk in these early stages. There are things you can do right now to calm the chaos and feel better.
Eight sessions to calm, connected, self-confident, and even happy!
Each session has its own topic for discussion, and there is plenty of time for learning, sharing, being supported in your unique situation.
It was surprising how quickly I began to look forward to the class. Building community with people who are in a similar place: the ability to meet people who truly understand where you are—as experts in pain. I found a lot of safety in opening up to these people. ~ Greg H.
Session One – Program Overview, Self-Care, Assessment
You may come into this session feeling lonely, hurt, afraid, angry or a combination of all of them. These are normal feelings of divorce, and you will soon learn that you are not alone and that you don’t have to stay in the emotional turmoil. You will learn the importance of radical self-care and complete an assessment to get a bird’s eye view of the impact divorce is having on your life.
Session Two – Understanding Transition
Knowing the 3 phases of transition and what to expect in each gives you some markers to know where you are in the process. One of the most confusing parts is the In-Between stage. It is marked by emotional upheaval, chaos and confusion. It is a normal and, believe it or not, productive part of your divorce process. Get relief from fear, worry, anxiety, loneliness and guilt. You will be guided to complete a Relationship History Assessment to identify major ups and downs in your marriage and how they have led you to where you are today.
Session Three—Let go of Grief, Worry and Fear
Saying goodbye is difficult. Grieving, though painful, is the single most effective thing you can do to move forward. There are different grief experiences for those who want the divorce, those who don’t, and those who feel compelled to leave because a partner won’t change. You will participate in a powerful exercise that will untie the knots so you can move on. This is an important night for healing and change.
Session Four – You Get to Be Mad: Dealing with Anger
Do you sometimes feel like slashing tires or breaking things? The anger you feel is probably justified, but it probably won’t serve you to express it the way you feel it. Learn the differences between mature and immature anger, and some positive, non-destructive, and pro-active ways to release that anger energy.
Session Five – Set Yourself Free: Forgiveness and Boundaries
Forgiveness is for you. It will set you free when you can let it. Learn what it is, how to access it even when you don’t feel like it, and how to gain the freedom that forgiving brings.
Were you hurt in your marriage because you didn’t know how to stop harmful things from happening to you? Or that you should stop them? You may have tolerated a lot of bad behavior from your partner trying to keep your marriage together. Learn the basics of boundaries: why, how, and when to set those important limits to protect yourself and those you care about. For many attendees this is brand new and very useful knowledge.
Session Six —Learn What Went Wrong
Were you a perfectionist? Caretaker? Critical? Absent? Most of us don’t realize how immature we are in our relationships until they break down. The things we learned in childhood were intended to provide us with important relational skills and equip us for adult relationships. If we didn’t get those skills, we brought our childish ways to our adult relationships. Learn the impact to your relationship, and how to participate in a healthier way in the future.
Session Seven – Feel Good Again: Self-Worth
Nothing damages self-worth like having the person you have loved and counted on withdraw their love, or worse, become your enemy. The good news is that your self-worth isn’t about them. You get to feel good about yourself no matter what your former partner, or anyone else thinks, says, or does. There’s still a lot of love out there, you will experience a good bit of it this night.
Session Eight – Let Go and Plan Ahead
It’s time to celebrate all your hard work. You are likely asking yourself some really important questions: Who am I now? What is my life about? What do I WANT it to be about? This is a fulfilling and illuminating night where you’ll realize how far you’ve come and ponder the answers to those very important questions as you prepare for the second part of the program: Empowerment. Your recovery has prepared you to discover who you are on the other side of this important life transition. Your heartbreak has opened new terrain both inside and outside of you. It’s your time to create new, better, different, more!
Learn more about the Empowerment program here. Completing Beyond Divorce Recovery is pre-requisite to the Empowerment program. Some exceptions may be made with facilitator approval.
After attending Beyond Divorce Recovery participants report that they are better able to:
- Handle stress
- Calm their emotions
- Meet daily life with more confidence
- Be better parents
- Connect in a real way with others
- Accept people and situations as they are, including their former partner
- Understand themselves better
- Experience more peace and hope
If you like, you can read what various professionals in the divorce field have said about the program and their clients’ experiences here.