Everything Falls Apart

Everything Falls Apart

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Piles of mud, chain link fence, equipment yet to be assembled, a sharp contrast to where the new and pristine playground I saw today. It was fenced off and under construction for months. I imagine the local children clung to the fence with longing looks, fingers entwined in the chain link, as their parents tried to tug them along. “When’s it going to be done?”

Life Under Construction

When the storm of divorce strikes and everything falls apart, it is our lives that have to be reconstructed.  We too want to […]

By |October 21st, 2015|Categories: Divorce|Tags: |0 Comments

6 Components of Your Emotional Divorce Support System

Mapping Your Divorce Support Resources


Ending a relationship without a solid emotional divorce support net in place is quite daunting. You will be required to make some of the most important decisions of your life—decisions that impact your future, your family and your finances. When someone close to us dies there are also many decisions to be made, but friends and family tend to gather around to help. So often in divorce we’re left to ourselves even though we need just as much support, maybe more.

If you don’t yet have a […]

What To Do When Your Ex is Non-Compliant With the Divorce Settlement

When Your Ex is Non-Compliant

cartoon parents pulling kid—colorful

It wasn’t easy, but you made it.  Maybe you had an attorney to help you, maybe you didn’t.  Some how, some way, the day arrived where…you finally got divorced.

What a day that was…bitter sweet perhaps? Usually is.

Maybe divorce was what you wanted, or needed.  Maybe you didn’t want a divorce, but there you were nonetheless.  It doesn’t matter now.  It’s done.  Hopefully, you are moving on to bigger and better times and have no or minimal interaction with your ex.

When you got divorced, […]

By |June 16th, 2015|Categories: Divorce, Divorce Help, Surviving Divorce, Uncategorized|0 Comments

7 Ways the Holidays Break Struggling Relationships

The Holidays and Struggling Relationships

holidays break struggling relationships

I recently heard that two weeks before Christmas is when most relationships break up. At the same time I learned that the 2-week-before Christmas mark also has the highest suicide rate and is the busiest time of year for most therapists. Yes, there is a whole lot going on during the holiday season, but why are they so hard on struggling relationships?

The Holidays Break Struggling Relationships In A Number of Ways

  1. In our imaginations we hold an image of our ideal holiday. […]

5 Ways to Negotiate Your Divorce

Are you brand new to divorce? Are you wondering where to start?

There are so many things to think about it can be overwhelming. For many of us a divorce is unfamiliar legal territory and we’d like some help making good decisions to get it right.

5 Ways to Negotiate Your Divorce

A lot of people begin by filing divorce papers with the court. In Colorado, USA there is a 90-day waiting period before the judge can enter a Decree so people like to get that clock started. (Check locally to find your area’s […]

By |November 2nd, 2014|Categories: Divorce|0 Comments

Feeling Abandoned

Dumped and Feeling Abandoned

In a previous post I mentioned two types of folks who have the most difficulty getting through divorce.

Man fishing

The first type is mothers (and sometimes fathers) facing the empty nest. The second, which is the subject of this article, is folks who did not have the parental guidance and other resources they needed as children to become happy, secure adults and go through a divorce from a child-like, helpless position. Perhaps their caregiver experienced a major life event that took them out of […]

By |October 7th, 2014|Categories: Divorce, Divorce Help, Divorce Recovery, Fear, Grief, Loss, Surviving Divorce|2 Comments

Forgive Yourself

Forgive Yourself

Energy is a funny thing. When you have it, you don’t think much about it. When you don’t, it seems like a most precious commodity. I haven’t had much of that precious substance lately. Too tired to exercise. I’m taking a lot of naps and avoiding social events that would tax me.

Forgive Yourself - Beyond Divorce - Set yourself free!

Today, for reasons unknown to me, I woke up energized. Went for a run. Cooked a real breakfast. Started writing. I feel different today, and it feels great. Wish I could bottle […]

The Flood

As usual, I seek the symbolism or metaphor in such an event. I imagine those of you who are divorcing can relate deeply to being caught in a current that has a life of its own, leaving a wake of destruction. A life rearranged after its passing. Piles of debris to sort through for anything of value, upon which you can place some sentiment to help you feel grounded. A world washed away, and with it some stamina for dreaming of a future reality that makes some sense. For a while you just have to do the sorting, and feel all the emotions that comes with such chaos. After that rite of passage something more tangible begins to take form.

Are We Broken?

I have such respect for the people I work with. They are right up against it. "It" being, “Should I go, or should I stay?” Or, “I’m on my own, now what?” Or, “How the ‘H’ am I ever going to get through this?” Or, “I am so overwhelmed I have no idea where to begin.” Not willing to give up, not knowing how to go forward, wanting it over NOW. Even with their dreams shattered they move forward. They are my heroes. Are you one of my heroes? I don’t think anything brings us to the core of ourselves—the core of what works and what doesn’t—quite like our relationships. Trying to mesh two lives together as one, or trying to separate two lives without destroying the people involved, takes tremendous skill—skills we weren’t taught in school, and only if we were very fortunate were we taught by example. Most of us flounder while scrambling to figure it out.

A Financial Breakup

Tax time is just around the corner. I imagine we think more -unhappily- about money at this time of the year than any other. Our relationship with money is similar to other relationships. Who has the power in your relationship? You, or money? Does it come and go as it pleases? Does it come when you call? Are you afraid of it or in command of it? These are all interesting exploratory questions. To celebrate being *beyond* tax day, I've planned a half day workshop called, Your Money Honey. This will be a fun and playful way to explore your 'habitudes' around money. Habitudes are a combination of habits and attitudes and they reveal a whole lot about how we view our relationship with money. Which habitude is dominant? Do you have missing skills? How do you know what they are? I hope you'll join us for this fun and lively event. Guaranteed there will be a lot of laughter and great insights! See the right sidebar for details.... Now for the newsletter..... Breaking up is hard enough to do, but breaking up over money? Yikes! It’s either that or put up with someone you don't really relate to. Maybe you don't even like them. Maybe you actually expect not to be treated well. Maybe you even believe that you somehow deserve poor treatment because you aren't more knowledgeable, comfortable or competent with money. All of these emotional pieces are precisely why you NEED to make changes. You deserve the best. There is something big about standing up for your right to be listened to, respected, and honored around your money.

By |April 2nd, 2013|Categories: Divorce, Divorce Help, Finances, Surviving Divorce|0 Comments