What’s Wrong With Waiting?

What’s Wrong With Waiting?

What's Wrong With Waiting_

There’s nothing like a car crash with a head injury to force a change in habits. I’ve had to slow down—a lot.  I didn’t realize the speed at which I lived life until I slowed it down a few notches.  It’s been different, but certainly not a bad thing.

My motto has become WWWW. Like WWJD (What Would Jesus Do?). Or www (world-wide-web) My motto is What’s Wrong With Waiting? I think I’ll start a movement. What’s Wrong With Waiting?  = WWWW

In the past I […]

Three Tools for Change

Three Tools for Change

Tools For Change

When it is time to “uplevel” I recognize that I need a lot of support—a team if you will. My team is one of my tools for change. I seek body workers, certain types of therapists/coaches, healers, spiritual guides and the counsel of wise friends. I’m not sure what a caterpillar feels like when it knows it’s time to molt/transform, but I imagine it’s similar to what I feel in an “upleveling.” The caterpillar stores energy, builds the cocoon within which the transformation […]



The Next Level

For years, up until just a few months ago actually, I was convinced that divorce was a tragedy that I had to both survive and recover from to get on with my “normal” life. Now I realize divorce is an opportunity to, what I call, “uplevel.” I see divorce more like a rung on a ladder on the way to who and what I am becoming.

I’ve done a ton of both personal and professional work around recovering from divorce, I’ve shared my journey, my fears, my tears, my […]

Finding Peace and Happiness Again

Finding Peace and Happiness Again

Peace and happiness

Are you still off-kilter since your divorce and feeling anything but peace and happiness? Don’t give up. There’s little that is worse than being in misery and having no hope of it ever changing! Just keeping peace and happiness in your sites will do a lot to get you through.

I was in the misery for a long time, too. I don’t know if it was really a long time, I guess that’s relative, but it felt like forever. The space between […]

Divorce for the Highly Sensitive Person

All of us have a degree of sensitivity. It is part of what makes us human. We ‘feel’ the world around us. It’s just that some of us feel it more than others. To some the world is fun and exciting. To others it is just prickly and loud. I have just been reacquainted with The Highly Sensitive Person books. I’d read these books years ago when going through my divorce. “Yup, I’m one of those.” It explained a lot. But then I put them back on the shelf and forgot about them… until a painful confrontation with people I love. Although I believe in the benefits of productive confrontations I’m not very good at them... these things go deeply inside me.  Right there, on the bookshelf in the guest room where I was staying, as if written in neon was The Highly Sensitive Person book. It was time for me to re-learn some things about myself. As I read I was thinking about the overwhelm I experienced in and around my divorce. I came unglued many times, feeling like I was hanging on by a thread. I definitely looked over that edge of “Why am I here?” and “Would anyone care if I wasn’t?” I was certain that the amount of hurt I was experiencing wasn’t normal (whatever that is). Now I wonder if knowing then that I was a HSP would have made it less intense. I surmise that it would have. I would have at least known to be much more gentle with myself.

Feeling the Feelings

I've recently been challenged with yet another growth step. As with all growth steps it's confusing and uncomfortable... sometimes downright disconcerting as I try to reconfigure my beliefs. What do I believe, now? I am endeavoring to reincorporate some lost, or banished, parts of myself from long ago. They want to come back. I don't recognize them. I'm not sure I welcome them. I certainly don't know how to be with them. "Being with" a feeling, an emotion, an event, or a person is not necessarily just about tolerating the bad stuff. It is about allowing myself to have my feelings, right now, in the moment, unedited, and without apology. It is about allowing myself to be fully human and alive. Only by truly experiencing and expressing our emotional life do we have the ability to grow.

By |July 25th, 2011|Categories: Balance, Finding Peace, Live Better|Tags: , , , |7 Comments

Reassembling Life

When it comes to writing this newsletter I pay close attention to what is going on in my own life to see if it might be useful to you. "Is there a message here?" Right now I'm in the emotion, the loss, the confusion, the numbness of a – I'm hoping – growth experience. Even though it feels vulnerable to share I imagine we can all learn something if I do. So here goes… In the late 1990's I began a growth journey that lasted for over a decade. While on that journey my life was disassembled - piece by piece - right down to ether. I was then left with the task/challenge/opportunity of putting myself back together. Where does one begin the process of reassembly when their life is strewn about them in pieces? Being confronted with what is not working in my life is ultimately a good thing. My head knows that. My heart is afraid. What will be required of me this time?

Fear or Love – That is the Question

I decided to write about fear last week, even before another fire broke out above Boulder, where I live. Even before the tsunami in Japan and before learning about potential leaks from the nuclear reactors. Since fear is such a reality during divorce I had planned to talk about how fear can hijack a divorce and take it in an entirely different direction than either or both parties want it to go. It seems like a really good time to talk about fear in general. Fear is, well, scary. Are there useful things about fear? How might we manage it?


BEing is more than just not DOing. This is where 'abiding' comes in. It is about stillness. It's about trust. Some may call it faith. It's about being centered, grounded, calm in the midst of life's storms. It's about being true to myself and in turn true to others by being clear about my needs, wants, expectations and capacities. It's the clarion call of my soul. It is the place where all of life's craziness is balanced with an unshakable trust that all is well just as it is. For me, as one who has spent far too much time trying to keep the world in order, abiding is being ok with the chaos of daily living. (click the title to read more)