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Is Today Your Someday?

Is Today Your Someday?

today-is-the-day-cropped

Things are changing so rapidly around me, around all of us, that it’s darn hard to keep up sometimes. As my own “house” upheaval is completing and I can think clearly again I’m realizing the bigger purpose in all the upset. Again. My someday has come.

Pruning the Dead and Lifeless

Upheavals prune us. Any gardener or arborist knows that in order for a plant to fruit well the dead branches, the crossed and broken branches, must be pruned away. The plant can’t bring the dead to life any more than […]

By | December 6th, 2016|Categories: Uncategorized|Comments Off on Is Today Your Someday?

Do’s and Don’ts for the Holidays

Being You During the Holidays

elf-with-presents

I don’t know about you but I have had a love/hate relationship with the holidays. On the one hand I have a lot of happy memories and very much enjoy the family gatherings, but on the other hand the holidays can be a (sometimes)painful reminder of all that has changed. I’m single, my kids are grown, my youngest grandkids don’t live in the same state, my father is gone, my mother sold their home and moved into retirement living. The holidays don’t look much like they once did. Life moves […]

By | November 23rd, 2016|Categories: Uncategorized|Comments Off on Do’s and Don’ts for the Holidays

3 Phases of an Upheaval

time-for-change-sign-on-fence

The 3 Phases of an Upheaval

Everything in life has some version of beginning, middle, and end. Upheavals do too. Understanding the 3 phases of an upheaval is helpful so you can know how near you are to relief from the chaotic parts. First, what exactly is an upheaval? We experience many upheavals in life: the ending of a relationship, losing a job and the resulting impact to our financial security, health challenges, children leaving home, natural disasters like fire or flood. We experience upheavals with gains, too. Getting into a relationship, starting a […]

By | November 14th, 2016|Categories: Uncategorized|Comments Off on 3 Phases of an Upheaval

Embrace Your Upheaval

Embrace, Don’t Resist, Your Upheaval

embrace-your-upheaval_man-jumping-in-front-of-heart

I’ve come through another one. This time I paid more attention: to the process, to what it required of me, to the fears, to the anger… and also to both the expansiveness and the depth that came on its’ heals. I’m talking of course about another upheaval. This time it was about buying a home. After move #42 I thought I could finally settle down and just BE…but ohhh no, Life had other plans.

Repair the Wounding 

Once I got into my home there were parts of it that gave me […]

By | November 6th, 2016|Categories: Uncategorized|Comments Off on Embrace Your Upheaval

Burden or Blessing?

Burden or Blessing?

Burden or Blessing

I woke up early this morning. 4:00 a.m. seems to be the time for processing. Have you noticed that? Some little zinger will zip across my mind demanding to be dealt with and sleep vanishes. This morning it was a regret I have about my father’s memorial. There were enough smaller conversations going on in the room that we didn’t gather everyone into one place to share stories. I may regret that forever. Not just for me but for my kids and grandkids who will never hear […]

By | November 30th, 2015|Categories: After Divorce, Divorce Recovery, Uncategorized|Comments Off on Burden or Blessing?

Finding Peace and Happiness Again

Finding Peace and Happiness Again

Peace and happiness

Are you still off-kilter since your divorce and feeling anything but peace and happiness? Don’t give up. There’s little that is worse than being in misery and having no hope of it ever changing! Just keeping peace and happiness in your sites will do a lot to get you through.

I was in the misery for a long time, too. I don’t know if it was really a long time, I guess that’s relative, but it felt like forever. The space between […]

What To Do When Your Ex is Non-Compliant With the Divorce Settlement

When Your Ex is Non-Compliant

cartoon parents pulling kid—colorful

It wasn’t easy, but you made it.  Maybe you had an attorney to help you, maybe you didn’t.  Some how, some way, the day arrived where…you finally got divorced.

What a day that was…bitter sweet perhaps? Usually is.

Maybe divorce was what you wanted, or needed.  Maybe you didn’t want a divorce, but there you were nonetheless.  It doesn’t matter now.  It’s done.  Hopefully, you are moving on to bigger and better times and have no or minimal interaction with your ex.

When you got divorced, […]

By | June 16th, 2015|Categories: Divorce, Divorce Help, Surviving Divorce, Uncategorized|0 Comments

Coping with Grief Reminders

You are probably well aware that your sad feelings don’t automatically end once your divorce completes. Many memories still linger. Many experiences need to be over written. It takes time to move through them. While you’re rewriting your experiences, reminders of what you’ve lost can pop up at the most inopportune times. They can be inopportune when you feel perfectly happy, out with friends, or at busy at work when something triggers a memory and the floodgates of emotion open up again.

grief reminders

Grief Reminders Can Be Anywhere

Even if you are set up […]

By | September 30th, 2014|Categories: Uncategorized|0 Comments

How to Avoid Getting Triggered

Life is so metaphoric, I just love it. Most everything is a symbol for something else, here to teach us when viewed with open eyes. I’ve picked up my workouts again after some time off for injuries. I’m enjoying the heck out of a couple of weight lifting classes and another resistance/strength building class. Both take place in a room full of mirrors. I mostly avoid mirrors. I feel a little silly over-indulging in self-observation. But I’ve learned that in order to do the exercises correctly and not hurt myself, I really do have to observe my form in the mirrors provided. Without feedback from the mirror I can get sloppy. I may think I’m moving correctly and am in good form, but without observation I may compensate for my weaknesses or let one side be lazy while the other carries the load. It is the same in my relationships. I need the feedback.

Beyond Divorce Launches!

It’s been a couple of months since I’ve written to you. I promise I haven’t forgotten you. I’ve been in a major life transition of my own. Remember those? Divorce is a big one. Transition is that kittywompus (spell checker has no idea what to do with that word!) place where your life is floating around in pieces and you’re trying to figure out how the heck to put it back together. Then there’s the part about the harder you try the more elusive it becomes. Remember that?

I have been between identities…

… both professionally and personally. The good news is that […]