Divorcing Well Is The First Step to a Great Life Beyond Divorce
There are many ways to divorce. Some are kinder than others. Not all will contribute to divorcing well. When we’re afraid or angry we may want to get the biggest meanest attorney to make our soon to be Ex “behave” and do the right thing. But it never works out quite that way. It makes for a bigger power struggle with each of you wanting to “arm up” as best you can. The biggest losers are your kids. The winners are the attorneys. You and your spouse are caught somewhere in the middle of all that.
I have listed several ways to divorce below in the order that I would recommend them to most people, and provided links to more information.
A few of the factors to consider when deciding the level of professional support you require, include:
- The level of complexity in your estate (i.e. do you have a lot of complicated assets: retirement accounts, bonuses, properties, own a business together)
- How well do the two of you talk things out and negotiate agreements?
- The ages of your children
- The balance of financial knowledge between you (is one more financially savvy than the other?)
- The levels of both fear and trust in your relationship
- The number and depth of emotional “sore spots” that trigger one or both of you blocking communication (for instance an affair or financial betrayal)
Different modes of divorce will serve you differently.
Please check out the following links on this site, which I have listed in the order I would recommend to a friend. In addition, if you are local to Boulder/Denver you might consider attending one of our fFree Information Seminars the first Thursday of every month. They are staffed with an attorney, mediator, divorce coach, parenting expert and sometimes a financial neutral.
- Talk to Divorce Attorney/professional for free
- Collaborative Divorce
- A Professional Divorce Coach if you’re divorcing on your own (pro se)
- Only with the simplest estates and great communication skills do I recommend divorcing without professional help of some kind (pro se). There’s a lot at stake.
- I do not suggest court or litigation because I don’t believe that is a viable option for most people and cannot recommend it.
Your next step:
You can talk with me at any time by getting on my calendar here. I can help you determine the level of professional support you need to divorce well.