Remember this quote? “Crisis doesn’t create character; it reveals it.” Decades ago I was in an intense personal growth workshop. We were put in challenging situations designed to reveal “how we had previously educated our conscience.” I love that term.
I almost started this by saying that 2020 has been good to me, but then I had to laugh. It was that eye-opening realization—again—about how much I’ve allowed myself to be defined by my circumstances. If things outside me are good, I feel [...]
Years ago I was the Divorce Coach for a couple going through their Collaborative Divorce. They came back when they hit a communication wall while trying to discuss co-parenting. They did so many things brilliantly in our mediation time that [...]
We have the choice between optimism/pessimism, gratitude/disappointment, being glad or being mad. I’ve heard for years that gratitude is the solution to living happily in an unhappy/challenging world. I get it. But I don’t always feel gratitude—even if it’s good for me. Here are two tricks that work.
I originally wrote this for a creative writing class in 2001, a few days after the Twin Towers were struck. I was invited to read it at a private reading for Writer's Night at Celestial Seasonings Headquarters in 2002. It [...]
I was recently watching a couple having a discussion. You know, one of those intense, trying to figure out how to communicate and connect kinds of conversations. I realized that most people don’t know that conflict in a relationship can
Nearly everyone has experienced divorce or a serious breakup. Relationships are hard, and it is mostly through trial and error that we make our way through—or not. Sometimes we see the end coming and welcome it. Other times we [...]
A sizable part of overwriting my old software has been choosing what I want to plug into as opposed to being led by my feelings into old familiar patterns. In this moment I am choosing to plug into sheer glee. It is safe to do so because I said so!
Relationship Destroying Behaviors: Stonewalling There are four behaviors so deadly to a relationship, whether romantic, family and friends, or business, that they have been called ‘The Four Horsemen of
Relationship Destroying Behaviors: Criticism Most divorcing people I’ve talked with dream of having a good relationship one day. A relationship that is playful, honoring, companionable, intimate, safe, and offers
We learn a lot about ourselves and others, when we divorce. Things that went right, things that went wrong. Things we would do differently next time. From time to time, clients will write me about something fabulous they've learned. I [...]
As usual, I seek the symbolism or metaphor in such an event. I imagine those of you who are divorcing can relate deeply to being caught in a current that has a life of its own, leaving a wake of destruction. A life rearranged after its passing. Piles of…
I’ve known Steve Gilbert for over 30 years. He’s stood by my side through most of my life’s struggles, always being about 5 years ahead of me… just enough to be my mentor and guide. I’ve been able to be his strength and guide on occasion also. Our friendship…
I have such respect for the people I work with. They are right up against it. “It” being, “Should I go, or should I stay?” Or, “I’m on my own, now what?” Or, “How the ‘H’ am I ever going to get through this?” Or, “I am so overwhelmed…
When I originally wrote this article I had so much to say that I decided to split it into two. It turned out that there was a perfect line of delineation – between the need to feel the feelings of the betrayal, and what we might actually learn from…
I hope you like our newly designed announcements panel. We have some fun, informative, and healing things coming up that you might want to be part of so click on through and find out what those are about. My book project is coming along. It’s in final editing and…
This post is by guest author, Dave Taylor of GoFatherhood.com. Dave is a father of three and regularly blogs about his life through, and beyond, divorce as a father. Dave is also a technology guru. He has written over twenty technology-related books and regularly writes a tech column for…
Divorce is hard at any time. Particularly difficult during the holidays. My former spouse told me he wanted to divorce on Thanksgiving Day and wanted to tell the kids at Christmas when they all came home. I just couldn’t do that to them. What a way to ruin Christmas…
Waiting too long to address marital problems creates polarized thinking. Relationship Bliss… or Divorce. If I don’t love you… I must hate you. If you’re not willing to make me happy… you will just make me miserable.
This is the second part of a three-part article detailing divorce survival tips. After reading the book Deep Survival – Who Lives, Who Dies, and Why, by Lawrence Gonzales I realized that divorce is itself a survival situation.
This is the final part of a three-part article detailing divorce survival tips. After reading the book Deep Survival – Who Lives, Who Dies, and Why, by Lawrence Gonzales I realized that divorce is itself a survival situation.
I have been (purposely) media deprived for years now. It’s just too depressing. Lately, despite my best efforts to keep it at bay the world has been closing in around me through the chatter of people I care about – colleagues
I’m surprised at how often I am asked that, actually. I’m doubly surprised when I hear it after watching people go through tremendous pain at the hand of that Ex (or so their perception is) in divorce class.
I regularly ask myself, “Who am I? What is my life about – today?” My desire is to always live from my core values. That is the bulls eye around which all other goals fall. My gifts and talents live there.