couples coaching

“As usual you worked your magic and helped us to get back on course. You are so wonderful and I/we so appreciate your focus and “presence” when you are working with us. Your insights, observations and thoughts have been invaluable. Thank you. I honestly feel so blessed to have you in my/our life.” ~ K.

A New Approach to Relationship Success

What if you could have the relationship of your dreams, allowing you to be who you are, for your partner to live into his or her fullness, and for your relationship to expand to include both of you in a brand new way, without having to end the relationship?

Relationships Are Constantly Adjusting

Relationships are constantly adjusting. Minor tweaks are fairly easy to keep up with. In my experience, big reinventions are poised to take place about every 10-year mark. There’s something about those anniversaries….     Sometimes we ignore the rumblings, shove our feelings under the rug and hope things will “get back to normal.” They rarely do, because they aren’t supposed to. Relationships grow just like everything else—more quickly these days than in the past. Growth is healthy. I fully understand these transitions and can keep you out of dead ends and on the path to positive change.

Would you like to understand:

  • The antidote to the four most potent relationship-ending behaviors?
  • How your seemingly opposite personality traits can compliment each other?
  • The real purpose of conflict?
  • How to use your differences as strengths?
  • The #1 relational dynamic that ends relationships and how you can grow past it?
  • How to recognize childhood patterns that have carried into your relationship?
  • Healthy boundaries and how they can increase love and protect freedom?
  • How to rebalance the roles you’ve each taken on? How to relieve role nausea and identify missing roles?
  • The three levels of relating and how to use them to your benefit?
  • How the two of you can be on the same team to resolve important issues?

Coaching is forward-moving, solution-oriented, pro-active and goal-centric, which makes it an ideal solution for those who don’t want to talk about problems as much as DO something about them. Men often prefer coaching to therapy. Coaching is a DO-ing process. Many men are used to be coached in sports and understand the concepts. Relationship coaching is great for couples where the male avoids getting help. This is good news for the woman who longs for relationship change.

Many therapies don’t work for relationships anyway. A relationship has no childhood to fix. Other approaches are needed for relationship success. One couple came to me after having visited 11 therapists. Bless their hearts. I so admire their tenacity.

It is common to compare a painful relationship to an imagined ideal relationship. Who wouldn’t want to leave pain for ideal? But it’s not real. It truly is imagined. There is no such thing as an ideal relationship. Relationships are designed to force personal growth. There is no magic bullet. No one who will save you from the pain of growth. With help you may be able to move through the blocks in front of you.

When I was in my relationship systems training I realized that if my former spouse and I had gone to someone who knew what I was learning we could have had a different outcome. You may be able to have a different outcome, too.

There are steps to relationship success that are knowable and doable—however, the doable part can be tricky without help. If you are coachable, you can absolutely have a new and improved relationship. The thing most of us don’t know is that we cannot solve our old relational problems as the same people who created them. In order to change things, we have to grow to become the people for whom those changes are easy. Yes. People actually do this. With guidance, these changes can take place more easily, you will be able to better recognize movement forward. Without guidance you can do a lot of running around in circles in the same old blame game. Don’t do that.

As a Mediator and Relationship Strategist with extensive training in systems coaching and a guide to hundreds of ending relationships, I bring you a perfect combination of tools to explore your relationship in a very real way. I am perfectly equipped to support you in the growth and changes your relationship demands. No games. No blame. No dissecting. Just exploring the dynamics—the structure of your relationship. The Third Entity of your relationship has its own needs, wants and wisdom, and it wants to tell us. Let’s listen in.

I reduce my fees for those who want to commit to the change process. It takes time to work through the kinks and I am willing to provide financial incentive to those who commit to themselves. I will commit to you, if you will commit to yourselves. You didn’t get where you are in a few weeks, and you won’t get out of it in a few weeks either, but you can make a lot of progress toward health if you’ll give yourself to the process. Talk to me.

If your partner won’t come

If your partner isn’t yet ready to participate, I can work with you individually. A marriage is a system. A system is like a mobile, finely balanced… until it isn’t. This means that if you change, the dynamics in your relationship will change also. Period. Your partner will have to respond to those changes in some way. S/he may become willing to explore some options at that point. S/he may not. Either way, you’re more informed and empowered than you were before.

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