Divorce and Your Home
I don’t know about you, but having a home base is vital to my happiness. Maybe that is true for you, too. My soul craves a place where I can be surrounded by things I love and that bring me joy, many of which have to do with special memories.
I’ve been in a state of flux—I’m moving—and my life is again in boxes. I counted my moves; this is move number 38 for me in my life. I’m craving a place to land—to have a functional, orderly, life where I know where things are. It seems that every day, sometimes several times in a day, I want that certain thing that is “in a box somewhere.”
I recently found a new home that, as close as I can tell, is perfect for me. It has everything I want including a space big enough to bring the large dining table my father made out of storage. I found the home, and found out it will not be mine, within a week of each other.
I have to be careful when I imagine having a home. I get attached. If I find one I like it immediately becomes home to me. I move in mentally. I did that with this idyllic home and now find myself grieving its loss—the loss of something I didn’t really have – perhaps it was the dreams. My craving soul had found some relief that was only pseudo relief. It was made up.
“Where is home?”
I have asked this of Spirit over and over.
One day a surprising answer came. “You’re home now.” Hmmmm. It’s never quite the answer I expect. I came to realize that I had been looking for home “out there” when the whole time home is “in here.” In my heart. In my soul. In my connection with my Spiritual Source. Home isn’t a building; it’s a frame of mind. It’s my frame of mind. My soul can be at home in that deep inner space beneath the choppy circumstantial waves. When I am connected with Spirit anywhere can be home and provide everything I need. I don’t always remember. This reminds me of Dorothy’s ruby slippers in Wizard of Oz. “There’s no place like home.” The ability to return home was with her the whole time; she just didn’t know it.
Do you remember playing tag when you were a kid? A place was designated as “home base.” When you touched it you were safe—safe from “It”–the person who was trying to tag you or anyone else in order to not be “It” any more. As with most games, tag has its symbolism in life. In this analogy, “It” is the things we crave that we perceive will make us happy like a job, a home, or a lover. “It” is relentless and the only way to be free from it is come back to center—to home – where we are safe.
You might be interested in another article about moving from one ‘psychic home’ to another as we grow.
I still want a physical home – a tangible space that I enjoy, but at least for the time being, I no longer feel that my happiness is dependent on having one. Finding my inner home base has allowed me the peace of mind to trust – instead of fear – that I will have what I need in due time. Spirit has often asked me, “Do you trust me?” I’ve always hated that question. How can I say “No” to such a direct question? But just the fact that it was asked lets me know I’m headed into something where trust will be required. This time it was, “Do you trust me to find you a home?”
After begging and pleading with Spirit to help me find “home” and learning the lesson that home base is inside I was also given a sweet and tangible living space on beautiful grounds near supportive friends. We cannot manifest much that is worthwhile out of fear, but we can out of trust. Sometimes the struggle itself is the greatest gift. Ugh.