Tying Up Loose Ends After Divorce? Your heart is probably still hurting with heart-piercing zingers firing at you from commercials, or the comments of friends, or memories. Maybe you can’t find it in your heart to forgive just yet and find the peace that forgiveness brings. Perhaps there are ongoing financial stresses or disagreements with others in your life that you’d like to work through.
Three Tools for Change
When it is time to “uplevel” I recognize that I need a lot of support—a team if you will. My team is one of my tools for change. I seek body workers, certain types of therapists/coaches, healers, spiritual guides and the counsel of wise friends. I’m not sure what a caterpillar feels like when it knows it’s time to molt/transform, but I imagine it’s similar to what I feel in an “upleveling.” The caterpillar stores energy, builds the cocoon within which the transformation […]
For years, up until just a few months ago actually, I was convinced that divorce was a tragedy that I had to both survive and recover from to get on with my “normal” life. Now I realize divorce is an opportunity to, what I call, “uplevel.” I see divorce more like a rung on a ladder on the way to who and what I am becoming.
I’ve done a ton of both personal and professional work around recovering from divorce, I’ve shared my journey, my fears, my tears, my […]
Finding Peace and Happiness Again
Are you still off-kilter since your divorce and feeling anything but peace and happiness? Don’t give up. There’s little that is worse than being in misery and having no hope of it ever changing! Just keeping peace and happiness in your sites will do a lot to get you through.
I was in the misery for a long time, too. I don’t know if it was really a long time, I guess that’s relative, but it felt like forever. The space between […]
My Wake Up Call?
I’ve been meaning to write you…. but my brain isn’t working right. I was in a car accident last week coming home from teaching divorce recovery class (hmmm). So the gash in my head and this concussion I have need some tending to. I’ll be ok. I hear it just takes time. Gotta rest my brain in the same way I would rest a sprained ankle. I can’t do even a quarter of the things I’m used to doing on a daily basis.
5 Keys for Letting Go
Letting go of the memories of your divorce is imperative if you want to create a happier life going forward and yet, we so often feel stuck, tied to a useless past. Even if we want to let go then there are strong ties that keep us bound—to the past, to the Ex, to the family and life that once was. Our memories seem to tie us energetically to a past that no longer exists. What’s up with that? Why is it so hard to snip those […]
Instead of New Year’s Resolutions
I gave up on New Year’s resolutions over a decade ago. I haven’t missed them one whit. You might want to ditch New Year’s Resolutions, too. I’ve found New Year’s resolutions a set up for failure, confining, exhausting, and guilt inducing, while offering too little motivation. Any chance of keeping them requires a strong will rather than a drawing forth from the heart, which is where genuine motivation comes from.
A Carrot or a Whip?
We humans are inspired to action either […]
Most of us have some trepidation at the thought of accidentally bumping into the Ex before we’re ready. Maybe your kids are graduating or having a birthday, or perhaps your former partner shows up at the wedding of a mutual friend with his or her new love. The holidays can be particularly tricky especially if you need to “play nice” for the kids. If you’re not ready for these encounters they can blindside you. Depending on where you are in your recovery process it may even affect […]
Holidays Are Hard For the Divorced and Divorcing
Holidays are traditionally a time for family but for the divorced and divorcing they can be anything but happy. Most of us have some happy memories of holidays spent with family, and when those times end it can feel like our world ends. There are many reasons the holiday season brings up strong emotions—both the comfortable and the uncomfortable kind. For the newly divorced, those without children around, or those experiencing tough family or romantic relationships, the holidays can be downright awful.
My Best Solution for Avoiding Crazy Relationship Behaviors
I hear a lot of relationship stories. Divorce stories. Dating stories. I am continually amazed at the creative misery that people who were once in love with each other can cause the other while going through divorce. It’s kind of the nature of the beast, so the horror stories of divorce don’t surprise me all that much. Shock me, yes. Surprise me? No. There are a lot of crazy relationship behaviors out there.
What does surprise me are the many crazy dating practices I hear […]
Most of us have heard of a rebound relationship. It is a do-over, a repeat, almost like a mini-marriage. There isn’t a lot of choosing, but more a falling into relationship with the first willing person with whom we feel comfortable. There may be a feeling that this new person is perfect for you, having many good traits your Ex lacked, and none of the bad ones. There is hope that “this is the one.” Many people don’t want to get involved in this kind of relationship because they […]