I just witnessed the failure of a collaborative divorce case for the first time. It is disheartening. They will now be going to court with their own lawyer.
An important announcement! I've chosen the cover for my soon to be published book. Visit http://www.beyonddivorce.com/book/ to get a peak and read chapter titles! Now for the newsletter: Forgiveness is tough for all of us. It seems there is always at least one person in my life that I want to avoid. Someone who makes me cringe, or makes me angry, whom I have a lot of internal dialogue with and about. Grumble grumble. “If only they would do a-b-c I would be happy, or at least be able to quit thinking about this.” A friend once said to me, “It’s your head, you get to decide who lives there.” You know the saying, It’s easier said than done? That applies. I wouldn’t make a very good bouncer. We teach what we need to learn, yes? I know there is more for me to learn about forgiveness. In fact, I’ve come to believe that forgiveness is our greatest lesson in life and until we get that one, peace will elude us. I’m highly motivated to learn it. My newsletter this time is about a betrayal in my own divorce that I’m still revisiting. It came painfully to mind again after our forgiveness session in the current live divorce class. It’s also the year anniversary of the event. Anniversaries are tricky. I expect I will continue to revisit this until I’ve worked through it completely. I thought some of my conclusions along the way might be useful to you.
Tax time is just around the corner. I imagine we think more -unhappily- about money at this time of the year than any other. Our relationship with money is similar to other relationships. Who has the power in your relationship? You, or money? Does it come and go as it pleases? Does it come when you call? Are you afraid of it or in command of it? These are all interesting exploratory questions. To celebrate being *beyond* tax day, I've planned a half day workshop called, Your Money Honey. This will be a fun and playful way to explore your 'habitudes' around money. Habitudes are a combination of habits and attitudes and they reveal a whole lot about how we view our relationship with money. Which habitude is dominant? Do you have missing skills? How do you know what they are? I hope you'll join us for this fun and lively event. Guaranteed there will be a lot of laughter and great insights! See the right sidebar for details.... Now for the newsletter..... Breaking up is hard enough to do, but breaking up over money? Yikes! It’s either that or put up with someone you don't really relate to. Maybe you don't even like them. Maybe you actually expect not to be treated well. Maybe you even believe that you somehow deserve poor treatment because you aren't more knowledgeable, comfortable or competent with money. All of these emotional pieces are precisely why you NEED to make changes. You deserve the best. There is something big about standing up for your right to be listened to, respected, and honored around your money.
I found an interesting little article that may be of help to those stepping into another, beyond dating, relationship. It provides some ideas as to where to look and questions to ask before joining finances in a new relationship. Find the full article here. An excerpt follows:
“With second marriages the stakes may be higher in terms of the assets and liabilities each partner brings. To quell any tensions before they arise, each should prepare a list of what’s owned and owed. Then start the conversation with the obligations: Determine who will be responsible for what. Will you, for example, […]