Grief

/Grief

Life is FOR you!

Life is FOR you!

If you’ve been with me for any length of time you know the nature of chaos I have lived with in all of the upheavals in my life. In case you haven’t been around, here’s the short list: I’ve moved 42 times, been in 3 car accidents (two of them car-totaling, and 1 with head injuries), navigated empty nest, lost two lifeline friends, I’ve had two estranged children (reconciled now), lost my father, lost my health (recovered now), divorced twice, didn’t receive my half of […]

By | October 4th, 2016|Categories: Emotions, Fear, Finding Peace, Grief, Live Better, Looking Forward, Your Future|Comments Off on Life is FOR you!

The Secret to Finding Yourself

The Secret to Finding Yourself

I’ve known for nearly two decades that I was in turmoil. I’d been in it so long I’d come to think that turmoil is just the way life is. What I didn’t realize is how lost in the weeds I’d been until I recently found myself in a peaceful meadow. Like the noisy refrigerator in the corner of the room, I didn’t really notice the clamoring I have been living with until it turned off. Are you interested in finding yourself, too?

After so long, I’d gotten used […]

Have You Lost Love?

Blue fractal heart

Have You Lost Love?

That’s kind of a silly question isn’t it? If we are older than about one day, we have lost love of some kind. Or at least it feels that way.

If you feel like you’ve lost love, and want it back, this article is for you.

Although I would have pushed back on anyone who tried to tell me this in the past, I have come to know that we cannot lose love. Why?

Love lives in us, not outside us.

Life events, upbringing, along with evidence we’ve gathered to the […]

Failure of a Collaborative Divorce Case

I just witnessed the failure of a collaborative divorce case for the first time. It is disheartening. They will now be going to court with their own lawyer.

Tears – What Do Yours Look Like?

Tears - What Do Yours Look Like I was recently introduced to the work of Rose Lynn Fisher who studies, and photographs, tears. I found it fascinating

By | December 3rd, 2015|Categories: Emotions, Fear, Grief|0 Comments

Feeling Abandoned

Dumped and Feeling Abandoned

Feeling Abandoned

 

In a previous post I mentioned two types of folks who have the most difficulty getting through divorce.

The first type is mothers (and sometimes fathers) facing the empty nest. The second, which is the subject of this article, is folks who did not have the parental guidance and other resources they needed as children to become happy, secure adults and go through a divorce from a child-like, helpless position. Perhaps their caregiver experienced a major life event that took them out of the […]

By | October 7th, 2014|Categories: Divorce, Divorce Help, Divorce Recovery, Fear, Grief, Loss, Surviving Divorce|2 Comments

Let Grief Change You

I've known Steve Gilbert for over 30 years. He's stood by my side through most of my life's struggles, always being about 5 years ahead of me... just enough to be my mentor and guide. I've been able to be his strength and guide on occasion also. Our friendship is a rare gift. As we've made our way through life's challenges we've each grown in amazing ways. Steve has become a powerful teacher and spiritual leader. I've always been in awe at his beautiful writing. This article is no different. Every divorced person has experienced tremendous grief. I've often spoken about the opportunity that divorce can be—to make us kinder, gentler, wiser people. This article speaks to the wisdom of grief. Here is an excerpt: "We think grief shuts us down, but that’s because of what we do to cope with it – we numb ourselves to it. But this is exactly why we feel shut down by our grief. The truth is that our grief is calling us into fuller life. Our grief is asking us to feel and to know ourselves. When we think that we can’t tolerate it, we shut it down and then we blame the grief. But grief is not the problem. Our grief is actually asking us to be real. “There is wisdom in grief. It’s the wisdom of our own soul. It is how we are designed. We are designed to feel, but we are always fighting our own nature. So that when I have a big loss, and my feelings start to come up, if I am not familiar with, or I’m uncomfortable with the experience of feeling these things, it is going to be really hard to trust that by feeling I will heal."

By | August 6th, 2013|Categories: Emotions, Grief, Loss|Tags: , , , , , , , |0 Comments