Tying Up Loose Ends After Divorce
Filing the divorce decree doesn’t mean divorce is over. In some ways it is just another beginning. There are many loose ends to tidy up, probably some disentangling to do, and there is certainly a new life to dream.
Your relationships have shifted. You may be getting used to a new job or different hours. Maybe you are figuring out how to co-parent, or what your holidays are going to look like now, or which traditions are worth keeping.
Loose Ends Coaching
Your heart is probably still hurting with heart-piercing zingers firing at you from commercials, or the comments of friends, or memories. Maybe you can’t find it in your heart to forgive just yet and find the peace that forgiveness brings. Perhaps there are ongoing financial stresses or disagreements with others in your life that you’d like to work through.
If you are through the major upheaval and beginning to the put pieces back together, a few coaching sessions can speed up this phase of things considerably, in part by helping you avoid those time-wasting dead ends. You need to be acknowledge for all the great things you’ve done and are doing now. And help to dream a new vision is invaluable. I have several key ways to help with that.
Loose Ends Coaching is about helping you complete the things that keep you energetically or emotionally tied to the past: to being married, to your former spouse, to the emotional angst, to the family vision, to the losses to the wrongs you’ve experienced. When you complete the old you make room to step into what is next for you. First things first, right?
Legal Loose Ends
In addition to redesigning your life there are some legal aspects you’ll want to update also. If you don’t know how to do some of these things I can refer you to a qualified professional who can help you out. Don’t just ignore them, ok?
- Review and update your estate plan – if you don’t have a will then you will want to get one drawn up.
- Review and make changes to your beneficiaries for life insurance policies, homeowner’s policies, IRA’s, 401k’s, etc.
- Keep copies of all the important documents generated from your divorce in a safety deposit box or other safe location.
- Pull a credit report on yourself just to make sure there aren’t errors, and check annually after that.
- Make sure that any joint bank accounts and credit cards with your former spouse have been closed or otherwise taken care of.
- Keep (minimum) the last six years of your joint tax returns with you. Tax returns are usually filed electronically now, make sure you get copies for your files.
- Keep a written record of the days and times that your former spouse has the children in case disputes arise later.
- Change your address if your housing changes.
If you had an attorney help you with your divorce these things should have been done or at least brought up to you. If you did your divorce yourself you’ll want to be sure you tend to these on your own.
If you’d like some help tying up those loose ends after your divorce give me a call.
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