forgiveness

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Wrap It In Love

Wrap It In Love

wrap it in love

I’ve discovered a new practice for neutralizing life’s jolting incoming missiles. You know the ones I mean, errant thoughts or comments from others that seemingly come from nowhere and before you know it you’re bummed out, angry, flustered, or crying. If you want to neutralize them here’s my secret: wrap it in love.

I like to wrap the harsh/painful thoughts in love in the same way I would wrap something in bacon, or chocolate, to make it more palatable. If this “thing” is going to come into […]

By | July 7th, 2016|Categories: After Divorce, Creating Your Happy Life Again, Forgiveness, Live Better, Reclaiming Your Power|Tags: , , , |Comments Off on Wrap It In Love

Forgive Yourself

Forgive Yourself

Energy is a funny thing. When you have it, you don’t think much about it. When you don’t, it seems like a most precious commodity. I haven’t had much of that precious substance lately. Too tired to exercise. I’m taking a lot of naps and avoiding social events that would tax me.

Forgive Yourself - Beyond Divorce - Set yourself free!

Today, for reasons unknown to me, I woke up energized. Went for a run. Cooked a real breakfast. Started writing. I feel different today, and it feels great. Wish I could bottle […]

Gratitude—The Gift that Keeps on Giving

Thanksgiving. A day dedicated to gratitude—to focusing on the good in life. How cool is that? Regardless of how it started, or if we believe the pilgrim story, we in the U.S. have a day set aside to count our blessings, to think about and revel in the opportunities available to us. Despite any hardships, we have a lot to be thankful for. Gratitude feels good. It is a change of focus that helps us zero in on the positive and minimize the negative. Since what we focus on grows we realize it gives a double gift. Yes, gratitude is an emotion, but it is also a tool. We can use it to steer our lives in a more positive direction. So many of our emotions steer us without our willingness, it’s nice to have one that we can commandeer for our own good.

Forgiveness-the bigger picture

When I originally wrote this article I had so much to say that I decided to split it into two. It turned out that there was a perfect line of delineation - between the need to feel the feelings of the betrayal, and what we might actually learn from the perceived betrayal. If you’ve been reading along you know that I am determined to discover the key to forgiveness, which I believe is also the key to happiness. I have a sneaking suspicion that it may even be THE key to a life lived in joy, but I can’t prove it, yet :-). When I remain in the demand that things be fair, that I get my due, or the protest that this ‘shouldn’t’ be, I remain focused and looking for good things to come from a stagnant pool. My eyes are turned away from the Supply that is flowing right next to me. So I guess a big part of what I'm learning is that forgiveness is a change of focus.

Forgiveness – Feel Your Feelings

An important announcement! I've chosen the cover for my soon to be published book. Visit http://www.beyonddivorce.com/book/ to get a peak and read chapter titles! Now for the newsletter: Forgiveness is tough for all of us. It seems there is always at least one person in my life that I want to avoid. Someone who makes me cringe, or makes me angry, whom I have a lot of internal dialogue with and about. Grumble grumble. “If only they would do a-b-c I would be happy, or at least be able to quit thinking about this.” A friend once said to me, “It’s your head, you get to decide who lives there.” You know the saying, It’s easier said than done? That applies. I wouldn’t make a very good bouncer. We teach what we need to learn, yes? I know there is more for me to learn about forgiveness. In fact, I’ve come to believe that forgiveness is our greatest lesson in life and until we get that one, peace will elude us. I’m highly motivated to learn it. My newsletter this time is about a betrayal in my own divorce that I’m still revisiting. It came painfully to mind again after our forgiveness session in the current live divorce class. It’s also the year anniversary of the event. Anniversaries are tricky. I expect I will continue to revisit this until I’ve worked through it completely. I thought some of my conclusions along the way might be useful to you.

Living in Gratitude

Life is such a mixed bag. As Forrest Gump’s mother would say, “You never know what you’re going to get.” Life provides endless opportunities to choose, so much so, that I believe that choosing is truly what life is about. We make some of our choices with influence from our history, including family background. We make some of our choices by assessing a current situation, including the trustworthiness, or not, of the people with whom we are involved. But, hopefully, we will make most of our choices from a guiding sense of purpose. In order to choose well we must ask, “Is this choice in alignment with who I believe myself to be, or with who I am becoming?” Part of maturing is to learn the ins and outs of choosing well. I’ve started compiling notes for my second book, which will include a fair amount on trusting again after relationship loss. It’s a fascinating topic. Trusting again is often difficult because of learned childhood patterns; but it is the only option for a satisfying life. Along with all that I’m learning about trust, I had a realization the other day that I thought I would share with you.

Fear or Love – That is the Question

Simply stated fear is nothing more than a belief in limitation.

Fear or Love

When we’re afraid we are convinced that there isn’t enough.  When we’re convinced there isn’t enough, we get afraid. Fear is the negation of confidence, of trust. The most interesting, and the most useful thing I know about fear is that it is the energetic opposite of love.  Fear and love cannot occupy the same space in the same way that light and darkness cannot occupy the same space.  Walk into a darkened room, flip the light switch, and darkness […]

Installing Love

Installing Love

I have no idea where this originated. Someone sent it to me via email. If you wrote it and want credit, let me know.

Sometimes we aren’t aware of the default programs we have running in the background of our minds day in and day out.  Those default programs may be interfering with different parts of our lives.

This is a playful little expose on the d.   In order to have different we have to DO different.  And that always, always starts with changing our thinking.

INSTALLING LOVE

By | October 18th, 2010|Categories: Learning from the Journey|Tags: , , , , , , |0 Comments

The Heart of the Matter – Eagles

Don Henley says it took him 48 years to write and 5 minutes to sing. Anyone who has experienced relationship loss will be able to identify with this song. Here is the chorus.

I’m learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I’m learning again
I’ve been tryin’ to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it’s about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don’t love me anymore

Music and lyrics by Don Henley, performed by […]

By | February 5th, 2010|Categories: Alone Again, Emotions|Tags: , |0 Comments