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  • Home
  • After Divorce
  • Three Tools for Change

After Divorce

10 Jul

Three Tools for Change

  • By Jeannine
  • In After Divorce, Alone Again, Balance, BEing vs DOing, Better Relationships, Creating Your Happy Life Again, Dreaming, Emotions, Finding Peace, Gateway to Transformation, Learning from the Journey, Live Better, Looking Forward, Manage Your Thoughts, Moving On, Ponderings, Purpose, Reclaiming Your Power, Relationships, Uncategorized, Your Future
  • 4 comments

When it is time to “uplevel” I recognize that I need a lot of support—a team if you will. My team is one of my tools for change. I seek body workers, certain types of therapists/coaches, healers, spiritual guides and the counsel of wise friends. I’m not sure what a caterpillar feels like when it knows it’s time to molt/transform, but I imagine it’s similar to what I feel in an “upleveling.” The caterpillar stores energy, builds the cocoon within which the transformation will take place, and gets about its metamorphosis. I feel that way, too. I know it’s time and I prepare for it.

The last time I “upleveled” one of the things I sought was deep tissue massage. I wanted to rid my body of all the emotions stored in the tissues. I had a stash and I knew it. If I was going to facilitate the transformation ahead of me I needed to free my body.

Tool One – My Team

I pay attention to the things my team says on my behalf. During one of the transitions over a decade ago I was in a movement/breath/meditation class taught by a chiropractor. He commented that my body was like an empty pop can. If he were to stand on it, it would crush. He wanted to see me living from the inside out, not just from skeleton but from muscle, ligaments and breath. I realized at that moment that he was speaking literally and metaphorically. There was not enough of a ‘me’ in this body to withstand the pressures of life. Finding ‘me’ became my next growth project.

Tool Two – Lighten the Load

Another of the tools for change that was thrust on me pretty unwittingly was getting rid of material possessions. I was talking to someone today and realized I’ve moved 10 times since 2002. That’s a lot of times to (literally!) carry around sh*t you don’t need. What a drain. Somehow in all my moves I was convinced “stuff” would make me feel it home. It didn’t. I finally got sick of it and started getting rid of things. I had to let them go both physically and emotionally by grieving all the memories that were attached to each piece like energetic strings. What an exercise that was. And yet, I believe getting rid of those physical and energetic ties brought me more freedom than any single thing I’ve done in a lifetime of personal growth work. The “veil” between me and Life has gotten much thinner.

Tool Three – Embrace What Is

I’ve come to accept that this is my life. I move, I change, I grow. Reminds me of Hillel’s quote, “I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile I keep dancing.” Just last week I gave up the idea that one day I would “arrive,” i.e. have a home where my heart can rest. That is apparently not my life. This is my life: I move. I change. I grow. I no longer need to have my life in abeyance or my happiness on hold until…

All of my life experiences have made me who I am.  I’m not waiting for anything any more. I don’t need to. It’s all here right now, I have my tools for change that will help me “uplevel” any time I need.

Tags:dreamingfreedomhappinessletting gomoving ontransition
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Jeannine

    Comments

  1. Eric
    July 10, 2015

    Great stuff, Jeannine. I would add and additional tool: understand the patterns. It is one thing to understand the various roles we play, like victim/blamer, rescuer/enabler, and persecutor/controller, it is another to understand how these fear-based roles interact. Understanding the Karpman triangle between these roles is critical to freeing yourself. IMHO

  2. loftvikas test
    July 15, 2015

    I love this tool Eric. Thanks for speaking up about it. Patterns are a whole ‘nother ball-o-wax aren’t they? Let me know if you’d be interested in writing a guest article about this. Seems like it could be a great service.

  3. Tina Cervin
    October 3, 2015

    Just what I needed to hear today when I was hit with the blues. And yes Eric, please write that article!

  4. loftvikas test
    October 5, 2015

    Glad this was helpful. Sorry you were hit with the blues. :-(. It would be great to hear more from Eric, yes?

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