Your Divorce Is Over Now What?

When you’re in the middle of the chaos of divorce it seems like it will never be done, never get better, never feel normal again. You plug along doing the best you can and then one day it completes. The war is over. The dust settles, and oh-my-gosh, it’s over. You’re single again. On one hand you may feel completely discombobulated that the life you once knew, once invested in, is now gone. No doubt the world has changed since you were first married. That is especially true if you were in a long relationship. (I felt like I’d been dumped out on a completely different planet after 30 years of marriage.) On the other hand you’ve probably caught a glimmer of the myriad of possibilities that have opened up to you. That can be exciting and terrifying at the same time.

The Ways Divorce Is an Opportunity

Possibilities Abound

You may have a renewed interest in life, especially your life, and a big desire to explore your new found freedom. Perhaps your creativity has awakened and you desire to express yourself in new ways, to connect with people and the world around you in a new way. You have a blank sheet of paper and a new box of crayons. You get to design your new life in any way that you’d like. And yes, it can be scary. After all, life has finally settled and you don’t want to go upsetting your equilibrium again! Having a guide by your side can reduce your time into the dead ends, which in turn reduces the wear and tear on your heart.

Where do you start?

When your divorce is over and the dust has settled you come to a fork in the road.

  1. Do you create a great singleness?
  2. Do you find another relationship?

Most people find (and I recommend) that your new life is best served by spending time with self-discovery and creating a great single life before you get back into dating. However, not everyone agrees with me, or are further along the path and want to get back to dating immediately. Both paths can lead to a whole lot of trial and error methods and into many dead ends, often including heartbreak. Having a mentor and guide who has been down those trails before and who can divert you around the drop offs is invaluable.

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Your next step:

Check out the page links above. But also contact me for a free Now What? conversation. Let’s dream about your new life. Let’s see if your next step is creating a great singleness, or if dating will serve you more. It can be daunting to see past the obstacles to the possibilities on your own. Helping you find your next step is what I’m best at!